dinner tonight?

It is May, and with it we have secured Spring. Ah!

Gardening has begun! I have never been in charge of a successful operation, just threw some seeds or plants into some dirt and observed the results. Now, I have no excuse after Sage’s most recent class on Food Sovereignty. The basics have been easy to grasp, and to be honest I love working in the dirt. Picking away the roots and threads one by one, scouring for anomalies is very healing.

Job hunting has begun! I’m out of the slump, and have put down any extra projects, plans, chemicals, whimsies, and wants in favor of… what apparently is now a completed interview for one place and ready resume for the rest. This all JUST happened today, so I’m a bit exhausted and reeling and have yet to process it all! But hopefully if these trial days go well, I will be at more frequent hours and more resources to dedicate on artwork!

My little cousin’s birthday party is on Saturday and boy howdy am I going to drive there and see him no matter what! If I have to work, maybe I’ll ask if he can stay up late. I don’t have a present for him, I didn’t make anything this time. I hope he enjoys spending time with me, he can backseat drive all the games he wants!

As little progress as there is in my creative projects, it is there. This refurbished iPad is wonderful for a mobile sketchbook and quick use of layers, as well as holding reference images with a bigger screen without anything else distracting me. Most of the art I’ve done has been sketches or on that tablet. One personal piece on the Yiynova, but really… REALLY…. I have a lot to do. I just gotta chug away at it piece by piece.

Scheduling. My biggest bane. The physical movement of my body. The barrier of molecules moving through space. My neurons exceed my own preference in speed and flexibility, never staying the same long enough to get a handle on unless written down. Getting a handle on my body requires its own technique, and a quieting of the body and quieting of the mind is the first step to actually listening and directing it with intention. I’ve realized my personal rhythm is a multitude of gear-like patterns, spinning at speeds that only sometimes line up. Big cycles of the season and year combined with weekly cycles of energy, all on top of the daily cycle which….. seems to go too-fast and too-slow simultaneously. [Goofy (Goofus D. Dog) voice] GORSH it’s a lot to handle!
TLDR; exercise is hard and sitting still doing nothing is the first step.

Check this out I’m an emotional person. It takes a week to get courage to do simple things sometimes. It will be alright, if I remember to feed myself on time and take care of myself. Sage has been a wonderful support to me in all ways. Nothing is easy. Nothing is true. Everything is co-created, everything is what we make it. What am I making for dinner tonight?

PSA: THERE WAS A WEDDING on the 28th of April, it will get its own post with pictures and writeup and links and everything! It was so wonderful and it made me EXHAUSTED for the entire week of so I didn’t draft or post, because it was a honking WEDDING and Sage and I were in the bridal party and it was our best friends and and and-! LATER.

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