Mood: Wrecked

So I have been trying to get up each morning and go to the gym, with varying degrees of success.

I got really really down at myself about not making it, and a friend was going to meet me at the gym and was already there, and I felt like I let them AND MYSELF down. They are cool and very nice about it and are actively encouraging me to forgive myself and make a mistake… Woew… Whaht a concepbt…

It took a while to get back up to speed. Automatic Negative Thoughts are rampant today. Couch is island, floor is lava. Sat on the porch and put sun on just my feet. It’s going to be warm this week.

Spent some time on a drawing, worked through lots of mental machinations about it. I just want to go back to sleep. Plans interrupted are so hard. Planning itself is so hard. Mostly about caring about the plans that I make myself is hard. I’m realizing that I really need others to help keep me accountable.

Negativity sucks. Getting out of it is tough.